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Audrey

October 2008

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Spinal Tap

$8.60/hr

Okay so I've been slacking on this thing, so sue me, now fuck off.

Okay so I moved dorm rooms again. And yes I say dorm res. life because you're all a bunch of whiny ass bitches who have fucked me over so many times I feel like I should be getting paid for your continual rape of my rooms. 
Bitches.

My shit is all over. ALL OVER. I need to have it at least put away, if not organized by the time Mandy gets here. That'll be Sunday. I'm really excited to have her back but at the same time I'll desperately miss Kate as she was my best and only friend this summer. Not that I feel abandoned by or have abandoned my other friends but I never really saw any of them. Kate's been my wingman for lack of a more fitting term, or maybe I'm hers. Yeah, that seems more appropriate. We had a lot of "incidents" this summer. I can't even begin to remember all of them, but the best ones involved a parking lot. Wegman's kicked both of our asses, and we snuck in and out of Wal*mart countless times without contracting any type of STD or fungus. We made it to King of Prussia and FINALLY found that damn Indian restaurant. We looked up the the economic type for Newark. NJ, duuuuude there's no listing!!
Scary? Yes.

We also learned how to befriend lesbian pro softball players, how not to layer fondant, and how to make it rain. No seriously, it was on controlling the weather.

We left Shark Week on 24 hours a day all week, and drank enough Starbucks to fill a moderately sized swimming pool.

I drunk dialed like a pro and made a "monument". Steph was suitably unimpressed.

I started smoking, then promptly quit a week later.

I gave up, I gave in, I learned a boatload and inivitably repressed something else in the process. I learned girls are fun to look at, but not so fun be near, kind of like a porcupine. 

I've completely unmade up my mind and made my bed all at the same time. I'm driven and aimless and hopefully desperate. 

I've nurtured the lives of two fish and killed countless insects with extreme prejudice.

I saw Suge Knight die, and bought Oktoberfest beer mugs for $0.99

I've become an isolated, self-sufficient piece of machinery and I like it that way. I'm one step closer  to becoming Andy Warhol.

I don't know what I want or how to get it. If you scratch an itch you just get another one somewhere else.

What am I talking about? the fuck if I know. That's why they call it a stream of consciousness.

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